Be the Queen of Confidence

The risk you regret most in life is the one you didn’t take!

Why are some people so confident and others struggle to believe in themselves? It always amazes me because I will meet an entrepreneur who is crazy confident and hasn’t really done anything in business to give them that confidence and others who have been wildly successful yet they still lack confidence and still don’t think they are good enough for success. I see it more in the women I coach vs. the men.

Confidence is the most beautiful thing you can possess! You have to show up every single day like you were meant to be there! As if that particular moment is your purpose in life!

I read a book years ago called Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg and she says that men walk into a job interview with 25% knowledge and 100% confidence and women come to the same interview with 100% knowledge and 25% confidence. Why is this? I want to change this! There is absolutely no reason for this!

Most of the time when you compliment another woman, they downplay it and respond with something negative about themselves. Try it and you will see what I mean. You say, wow you look like you’ve lost weight! They say, yeah, well I have gotten so big and I have a really long way to go INSTEAD of just confidently saying THANK YOU!

Or you compliment their outfit and they bring up something they don’t like about what they are wearing or their hair or whatever. Just smile and confidently say THANK YOU! This is a great lesson to teach your daughters and practice it yourself! The next time someone compliments you, smile and say THANK YOU!

Think about when you were a kid. Some kids are naturally very confident at anything they try to do while others who may even have the skills, lack confidence. Was it the way we were raised? I do think parents, teachers and peers have a lot to do with that early on and some people go their whole lives with this limited belief of themselves and their abilities.

I was blessed to have two parents who made me believe I could do anything I wanted to do. I never went into a tryout in sports or for a job interview thinking I couldn’t succeed. I knew I could do it! I knew I had the talent and most importantly, I believed in myself. Transferring this type of confidence to anyone you interact with in business is so important! Whether it’s a sales call, an interview, or a conversation with a current client, confidence is such a powerful trait that everyone admires. Not the prideful kind that comes off as you are better than everyone else, but confidence in who you are as a person and confidence in the work you provide. I am always amazed when my staff members are scared to get on the phone with a client. Why? You are the expert! You know marketing way more than they do – so why is it a scary thing? I think it comes down to confidence! Now, I know some clients can be scary at times and a bit overbearing, but it’s usually because they see the self-doubt in you and your work. If you come across confident, they will be at ease.

One of the most powerful things I can do for my clients is to give them confidence to reach their dreams! I love to build people up, highlighting their strengths and cheering them on to success! Many times that’s the only thing missing from them succeeding! You can’t take risks if you aren’t confident! What are you missing out on because you are scared? I spend most of my time reassuring clients that they are the expert and they have the knowledge that other people want.

I have a little bit of the opposite syndrome. I take risks when I get a feeling and never over think it. What if this doesn’t work out? What if you lose money? What if no one buys this product or service? What if no one hires me? None of that ever crosses my mind! I visualize it being wildly successful before I even start! Do all of my ideas work out? No, but I don’t waste time worrying about it. I move on to something else. I have had someone say to me before, “You act like a guy in business.” I am not sure what that means but if it’s because I act confident, I’ll take it!

I’ve also learned to leave my emotions at the door, and this is another thing I strongly recommend. Don’t get heated with a client or an employee. Instead, take a few breaths, remove yourself from the situation and respond when your head is clear and you can confidently address the problem.

Here are 5 tips to being confident in business and in life!

1) Be decisive!

One of the traits that will kill your entrepreneurial journey is being indecisive! You have to just ACT! Decision-making should be something that’s taught in college. I see it paralyze so many people. They just can’t decide whether to create this product or that product or what audience they want to go after. I remind them: It’s not a forever decision! You aren’t married to it, just ACT and if it doesn’t work, PIVOT! I am more of an impulsive person who acts quickly without a ton of thought. That may not always be the right thing, as there are plenty of things I probably should have thought out more, but it has served me more good in my life than bad. Practice being decisive! I have friends who can’t decide where to go eat or what they are going to wear and will literally spend HOURS contemplating these simple things in life! Decide and move on! A confident person is a decisive person.

2) Don’t let fear dictate your actions!

What is fear anyway? It is a human emotion that starts in your imagination! Most of the time there is nothing to be fearful of – it is something you imagined and gave meaning to! If you let fear creep into your life, it will 100% control you! The best thing you can do with fear is FACE IT! I was coaching a female entrepreneur the other day who was so fearful of making sales calls. She’s the expert, has an amazing program, but lost all of her confidence and was filled with fear to get on a call. Clients definitely sense your fear and lack of confidence so you cannot be in this state of mind when you are on a sales call. We ended up role playing the sales call over and over until she was confident and she got the sale! Closing sales will give you confidence but I told her she won’t close all of them. It takes repetition to get confidence, and sales is a numbers game! The more you pitch, the more you close!

3) Quit being a perfectionist!

You don’t have to have everything perfect before you launch. I always tell people if I waited to have my kids until my life was perfect, I wouldn’t be a mom. Sure we all want to have a successful job and the perfect house before we bring children into the world, but that rarely happens! And a child doesn’t care about any of that! They want your love!

The same thing goes for business. So many people wait to launch until they have the perfect website, the perfect marketing materials and they keep taking course after course to improve their skills. Guess what? Your opportunity is going to be gone! Your competitor is going to scoop up the available market share while you are waiting for perfection. Have the confidence to LAUNCH! Imperfect action is better than no action at all! You can tweak along the way and 9 times out of 10, the real feedback you will get is from customers, and you can make adjustments as you go! You won’t get this kind of feedback until you launch!

4) Stop worrying about what other people think!

The older I get, the less I care what other people think of me. I am not here on Earth to please everyone. It used to be really hard for me in business when I pitched a potential client and they would end up going with another agency. WHY? Did they not like me? Did I not clearly explain how we can change their life? The more I did sales, the more I realized it wasn’t always about me. Or maybe it was about me, but it didn’t matter! I didn’t need to be the marketing expert for everyone in the world. Once I created a niche and stuck with that niche, I had success. And it was a relief only working with those clients I wanted to work with.

So many people spend so much time worrying about what their competitors are doing and then try to copy them! Be original! Those that are successful have no idea what their competitors are posting on social media or even care! There’s enough business for everyone to be successful, not just one! Comparing your business to others will get you nowhere! They have their journey and you have yours. Live out your journey to the fullest! Have the confidence in your business to stay the course, regardless of what your competition is doing.

The worst thing you can do in a sales pitch is worry about what the other person is thinking. Be confident! Who cares if they go another route! Many times I’ve pitched a client, didn’t land the deal, and they later called me to do business. Maybe I was too expensive or the timing wasn’t right, but it does you no good to worry about what other people think! You do YOU, and keep moving forward!

5) Take care of yourself!

When was the last time you did something for yourself? I know many female entrepreneurs put themselves last. They have their business, their clients, their employees, their spouse and their kids, and after taking care of all of that, there’s not much left for themselves!

You have to create time for you to recharge and feel better about yourself! Maybe this is working out, maybe it’s meditating or going to get your nails done. Do something every day for you! You cannot be 100% with your clients or your family unless you feel 100%!

I am very guarded with my time for this reason! I have my workout time at 5am every morning. That is “me” time to feel strong and confident and get those endorphins flowing! Then I have “me” time in the morning, getting to work an hour before anyone else to read, listen to a podcast or maybe shop online! I do something that I want to do for personal development or maybe just shop online for an upcoming event or vacation! I also consistently go to bed by 9pm. I know this is not for everyone, but I know my body needs consistent sleep and getting up at 4:30am is not easy. I cannot be at my best if I don’t get the sleep I need, so every night about 8pm I leave my phone in my bathroom so I have no distractions for the night. My friends laugh at me that I can’t stay up past 10pm even on the weekends (yes I do sleep in until at least 6:30 or 7 on weekends), but I rarely get sick and have stuck to this routine for years.

I am also a big fan of rewarding yourself if you reach your goals in business. As entrepreneurs, we don’t have bosses to congratulate us or give us a raise, so we have to reward ourselves! Come up with a goal and what you will do when you achieve it! Maybe it’s a trip with your spouse or that new Louis Vuittan you’ve been eyeing. Set your goal and GO GET IT! Guilt Free! You deserve it!

You are a much more confident person when you are well-rested and take care of yourself!

To recap, here are the 5 things you need to be a confident person!

  • Be Decisive
  • Don’t let fear dictate your actions
  • Quit being a perfectionist
  • Stop worrying about what other people think
  • Take care of yourself

Now go forth in confidence! You are valuable and have an enticing offer for others. Make the calls, put in the work, and reward yourself along the way!

Deedra Determan, Founder

Deedra Determan started her career working in television for one of the top media companies in the country and later became a marketing consultant in the television industry.

Determan went on to launch a niche website for moms in her local market with over 100,000 moms visiting the website each month using the power of Facebook. After one year from launching, Determan sold the website to Oklahoma Media Company, Griffin Communications. Determan went on to launch a digital marketing agency, D2 Branding that was recently recognized as one of the “Best Entrepreneurial Companies in America” by Entrepreneur Magazine’s Entrepreneur360.

Determan is the host of the Do It My Way Podcast Show, empowering women business owners and CEO’s to do business on their terms with no regrets, hesitation or fear. Determan coaches these women on how to create a personal brand so they can live a life of financial freedom, working when they want to work and making the money they want to make!